Wednesday, March 24, 2010

St. Catherine of Sweden (c.1330 to March 24, 1381)

When I was 34-years-old, I found myself in the unfortunate situation of being unwed and pregnant. It happened either just before a breakup with a long-term boyfriend or at the beginning of a relationship with a new guy.
At the same time, out of nowhere, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So, my priority was taking care of my mother and coming to terms with her death.
Since I had no idea when I conceived, I had to make a choice. I'm not happy to write about this and it took a very long time to before I could face the results of my decision. All I can say is that I could not have provided a child with a proper upbringing as a single mother.
After the procedure (I had to go through it twice, because it didn't work the first time), I went to my gynecologist for a follow-up exam. He told me that I should be on the birth control pill to which I replied, "I'm never going to have sex again."
Dr. Fink said that because I was young and good looking, he guaranteed that I'd change my mind since I'd most naturally meet someone and fall in love.
Dr. Fink was a few years younger than myself and I found it odd that whenever he examined me, he'd get embarrassed and his face would turn red. Afterall, his job was working with female anatomy.
But, the strangest thing was that when he finished his residency at Brown and was going to set up practice in Florida that he invited me along. Although he was physically attractive in an odd sort of way, I declined the offer.
My mother was diagnosed with "non-life-threatening cancer," yet my instincts told me it was terminal. She saiid it was minor and that she'd have the chemotherapy where she wouldn't lose her hair. I didn't believe it and cried hysterically. My brothers tried to console me and my and dad did, too.
I said it only once, "Mom, it's not true; you're going to die!"
I had a premonition. However, for the next year, until her very last day in this world, I acted like everything was fine.
Right after I had the abortion, someone still unknown to me today, called my mother and asked her if she knew where I was on such and such a day. The woman said I had done something terrible and she wanted my mother to know, although never told her what it was.
My mother confronted me, concerned I had worked in a porno film.
"I'm in the Screen Actors Guild," was my response. "I'm not an adult film star."
She was not convinced and after several days of nagging me about it, I finally told her what happened. I also asked if she could get me special help from God when she got to the other side, since I had committed a serious sine in the Roman Catholic Church.
"What? That's it?," she said. "That's nothing, At least you're not dying from cancer."
I guess an abortion was minor in comparison to what my mom was going through. I spoke with a professional a few times about both situations and she miraculously guided me through it. I'm not even sure what she said to me but whatever it was it made me strong and resilient. I got through my mother's death and with my own dilemma found peace.
St. Catherine of Sweden was born c. 1330. Her mother was St. Bridget of Sweden. At age 13, she married Lord Eggert van Kyran and they took a vow of chastity. In 1349, she joined her mother on a trip to Rome and immediately thereafter her husband died.
Together the mother and daughter made pilgrimages and helped the poor. St. Catherine of Sweden became the head of the Brigittine convent at Vadstena Abbey in Sweden that her mother founded.
She died on March 24, 1381 and is the patron saint against abortion and against miscarriage. St. Catherine of Sweden's feast day is March 24.

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