Before the movie "He's Just Not that into You" came out, I had a conversation with my friend, Cindy, at a peach festival in Massachusetts.
"My relationship with Tom isn't going to go anywhere," she said. "But, I really like hanging out with you."
Being 15 years younger, the only words of advice I could give were, "You can't force someone into marriage. If he really wanted to, he would have done it by now."
We talked about how most guys know if you're "the one" in the first four months of dating. It's funny because I know many women who were on their best behavior in the early stages of dating and managed to sucker the guy into marriage within one year. Then, they ended up divorced after the guy realized what he had gotten himself into.
I told Cindy she could use strategies from the "Bitch" books by Sherry Argow, but was Tom really worth it?
"Somewhere there's a guy who will appreciate all the wonderful things about you," I offered, and then, like magic, I mentioned I had gone sailing with my friend, Joe, a few days earlier.
Turns out, Cindy dated Joe back in 1964. So, for the next several months, I became the messenger, much like Cupid, exchanging their phone numbers, delivering poems and short stories, and being a good listener to both parties.
Of course you hear it all the time, that high school sweethearts reunite. But, these were junior high school sweethearts. My take on it is that it makes old people feel young again. Personally, for me, when it's over, it's over. I never want to see anyone from my past.
I've heard people say they are still friends with exes because obviously they had interests that brought them together. Being a realist, I see it as, there's a reason why we broke up and that's reason enough to not want to be friends.
Before Joe's "first" date with Cindy, I told him they were going to get married.
"I just know if you go on this date, that will be it," I prophesized.
Joe looked at me in disbelief, especially since he vowed to live as a monk earlier that year. Then, he reminisced about when he first laid eyes on Cindy when he was an altar boy at St. Teresa Church in Pawtucket.
Joe married for a second time when he wed Cindy in October 2006, and they lived happily ever after. When Tom found out, he was shocked. But, he's the one who let her go.
Second marriages can be successful! If you are divorced, hoping to find the right person, and don't have time to wait, St. Adelaide of Burgundy, the patron saint of second marriages, can help. She was a princess, and later empress, who was born in Burgundy, France c.931
She was selected for an arranged marriage at age two and wed Lothair of Italy, a future king, at around age 16. Then, she was widowed while still a teen.
In 951, St. Adelaide of Burgundy married Otto of Pavia, who became Emperor of Rome the following year. After being widowed a second time, in 973, she used her power to help the poor and build, repair, or restore churches and monasteries.
St. Adelaide of Burgundy died on Dec. 16, 999.
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